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Obama Jokes By Comedians

Here, you'll find a sampling of Obama jokes by comedians, ranging from famous (e.g., the late-night TV guys) to obscure (who may become less obscure when they are featured here). We plan to update this page often with fresh material — but only if the jokes are good!


From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", October 10, 2012:
The good news for the White House is that unemployment has dropped to 7.8 percent, right where it was when President Obama took office. So Obama has gone from "Change you can believe in" to "Can you believe there's no change?"

From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon", October 8, 2012:
Apparently. after last week's debate, polls show Obama trailing Romney by one point. One point — or, as it's also known, "The thing Obama failed to make during last week's debate."

From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon", October 5, 2012:
In a new interview, first lady Michelle Obama said that she would choose Will Smith or Denzel Washington to play her husband in a movie. Or, as Democrats put that: "Any way they can play him in a debate?"

From "The Colbert Report", October 4, 2012:
It's like Obama wasn't even there. He hasn't done this poorly since he debated Clint Eastwood.

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", September 24, 2012:
A woman in Tampa, Florida, who is in danger of being foreclosed on, put a giant sign on her roof reading, "Obama, please save my home." To which Obama said, "Hey lady, I'm trying not to get thrown out of my own house, OK?"

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", September 24, 2012:
Congratulations to both Mitt Romney and President Obama. They both won Emmys for their performance on "60 Minutes" last night. Obama won for acting as if everything has gotten better over the last four years, and Romney won for pretending to care about that other 47 percent.

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", September 21, 2012:
Obama has gone from "Yes we can" to "I'm sorry, no one can."

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", September 4, 2012:
The Democratic Convention began tonight. What a difference four years makes. Last time, the theme was "Hope and change." This year, the theme is "Hope you don't make a change."

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", August 28, 2012:
President Obama is seeking to make his case with first-time voters. Well, you can understand why. Second-time voters have graduated and can't find a job.

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", August 23, 2012:
They're now worried that Tropical Storm Isaac could hit Florida during next week's Republican convention. But Florida is ready for it. Thanks to President Obama's economic policies, many businesses down there are already boarded up.

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", August 17, 2012:
President Obama said today he is sticking with Joe Biden. Which means one of two things: either he thinks Biden is doing a good job, or Hillary said no.

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", August 16, 2012:
President Obama is still reminding people that he inherited this economy. Let me tell you something: if this economy doesn't turn around soon, his inheritance could be cut off in November.

From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon", July 13, 2012:
In an interview with CBS, President Obama said the biggest mistake of his first term was not telling a story to give Americans a sense of unity. In response, Americans were like, "Yeah, fixing the economy would've been cool too."

From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon", June 26, 2012:
Yesterday in New Hampshire, President Obama said Americans need someone who will wake up every single day and fight for their jobs. Then he said, "But until we find that guy, I'm still your best choice."

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", June 18, 2012:
President Obama is going to let certain illegal immigrants stay in this country. But there is an age requirement. You have to be old enough to vote by November.

From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon", June 14, 2012:
Today, President Obama gave a major speech where he defended his handling of the economy. And there were tons of people in the audience, you know, since nobody had to be at work.

From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon", June 12, 2012:
President Obama says he hopes the NBA Finals go to a Game Seven. Of course, Obama should probably be focused on other matters, like hoping his presidency goes to a Term Two.

From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon", June 8, 2012:
This weekend, President Obama's daughter Sasha will turn 11 years old. Sasha didn't ask Obama for a present ... you know, because she's still waiting for him to deliver the gifts he promised three birthdays ago.

From "Conan", June 6, 2012:
There's a rumor that President Obama will stop by today's L.A. Kings hockey game. He doesn't want to draw attention to himself. He just wants to blend in with all the other black, Hawaiian hockey fans.

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", June 4, 2012:
The unemployment numbers are higher than President Obama was in high school.

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", May 24, 2012:
The Center for Responsive Politics reports that President Obama has become the first politician in history to raise $1 billion in his political career. Imagine how much more he could have raised if people hadn't lost it all in his economic plan.

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", May 21, 2012:
President Obama gave the commencement speech at Barnard College the other day. He told graduates their future is bright unless they want jobs.

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", May 16, 2012:
President Obama released his financial disclosure statement today. It turns out he is now worth over $10 million. So at least somebody is doing well in this economy.

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", May 10, 2012:
President Obama has come out in support of gay marriage. He said his position has been evolving for years. Miraculously, he saw the light just in time for tonight's big Hollywood fundraiser. What are the odds?

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", April 30, 2012:
President Obama has revealed his new re-election slogan: "Forward". That's a good message for Obama. He's telling voters, "Whatever you do, don't look back at all those campaign promises I made."

From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon", April 26, 2012:
A new poll found that Michelle Obama has a much higher approval rating than Barack Obama. Which explains Barack's new slogan: "Vote for Michelle Obama's Husband."

From "Conan", April 26, 2012:
A new Republican ad came out that claims President Obama is too focused on being cool. President Obama hasn't responded to the ad, because he's too busy snowboarding with the boy band One Direction.

Jimmy Kimmel, from the White House Correspondents' Association dinner, April 28, 2012:
Mr. President, I know you won't be able to laugh at any of my jokes about the Secret Service, so cover your ears, if that's physically possible.
President Obama wanted to move the dinner to the Kennedy Center this year, but the Republicans wanted to keep it here at the Hilton, so they compromised, and … here we are at the Hilton.
You know, there’s a term for guys like President Obama … probably not two terms, but ....

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", April 13, 2012:
President Obama released his tax returns. It turns out he made $900,000 less in 2011 than he did in 2010. You know what that means? Even Obama is doing worse under President Obama.

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", April 11, 2012:
The price of gasoline has now doubled under President Obama's administration. He and Jimmy Carter are the only presidents ever to have had that happen. But, in fairness, at least under President Obama we don't have to listen to disco.

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", March 29, 2012:
Even President Obama realizes the Obamacare thing is not looking good in front of the Supreme Court. He's starting to downplay it. Like, today, he called it "Bidencare".

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", March 16, 2012:
This will be the fourth St. Patrick's Day of Obama's presidency. He still hasn't created a green job. What happened to those?

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", March 15, 2012:
President Obama said he's set up a task force to look into high gas prices. He'd look into it himself, but he's busy working on those NCAA tournament brackets.

From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon", January 31, 2012:
A woman in Illinois is auctioning off a 2005 Chrysler that once belonged to President Obama. You could tell it was Obama's car because it gets off to a fast start and then stalls for the next three years.

From "Conan", January 23, 2012:
Today, the Stanley Cup champion Boston Bruins visited the White House. President Obama told them he loves hockey as much as any black guy who grew up in Indonesia.

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", January 19, 2012:
Obama's a big environmentalist. In fact, for the election, he plans to recycle the same promises he made four years ago.

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", January 17, 2012:
President Obama will be going to Disney World, where he'll unveil his new plan to create jobs. And what better place for the president to talk about his jobs plan than Fantasyland?

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", December 16, 2011:
President Obama now says he didn't know how bad the economy was when he took office. And if it doesn't improve soon, that's what the next president is going to be saying.

From "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson", December 7, 2011:
[Rod Blagojevich] was convicted of trying to sell Barack Obama's vacant Senate seat. If he had waited a few years, he could probably sell it back to Barack Obama.

From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon", November 21, 2011:
President Obama came home after a nine-day trip to Asia. He got to see some stuff he never sees at home ... like jobs.

From "Late Show with David Letterman", November 15, 2011:
The Republican candidates have really been shooting themselves in the foot, just making huge and horrible gaffes, they just look silly. And it’s gotten so bad, President Obama is now worried he may actually be reelected.

From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon", November 3, 2011:
President Obama just went to the G20 summit to give Europe advice on its debt crisis. Wait, Europe's getting economic advice from Obama? That's like J. Lo getting marriage advice from Kim Kardashian.

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", October 31, 2011:
President Obama invited trick-or-treaters to the White House ... and they had a very scary party. They sat in a circle, turned off all the lights and the kids read the president his poll numbers.

From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon", October 27, 2011:
President Obama just announced a new student loan plan that will forgive debt after 20 years. Obama said that forgiving debt is the most honorable thing someone can do. And then he repeated that in Chinese.

From "Conan", October 18, 2011:
Yesterday, President Obama's TelePrompTer was stolen. Police are on the lookout for a thief that's eloquent and spreading a message of hope.

From "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson", October 3, 2011:
Happy anniversary to President Obama and the first lady. They had a nice private dinner to celebrate the 19th anniversary of the last time someone said yes to an Obama proposal.

From "Jimmy Kimmel Live," April 29, 2011:     
These people could have personally witnessed Obama being born out of an apple pie, in the middle of a Kansas wheat field, while Toby Keith sang the national anthem — and they'd still think he was a Kenyan Muslim. 

From "Conan," April 14, 2011:     
President Obama is slated to appear on one of Oprah's last shows. He's hoping it's the one on which she gives away 14 trillion dollars. 

From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon," June 7, 2010:     
Today, President Obama spoke at Kalamazoo's Central High School graduation ceremony in Michigan. He told the students they could be anything they want to be, but if they could be oil leak experts, that would be great. 

From "Jimmy Kimmel Live," April 19, 2010:    
President Obama said he hopes the volcano will stop smoking soon, and the volcano said the same thing about him. 

From "The Late Show with David Letterman," April 2, 2010:    
President Obama filled out his census. I felt bad for the guy. Like he needs another reminder that he lives with his mother-in-law. 

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," March 10, 2010:     
Earlier today, the president of Haiti was at the White House to meet with President Obama. He said the people of his country need jobs, they need places to live, and they need health care. And then the president of Haiti spoke. 

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," March 5, 2010:    
Just two days after being told by his doctors to cut down on his cholesterol, President Obama visited a restaurant in Savannah, Georgia, where he ate a meal which included fried chicken, sweet potatoes, macaroni and cheese, cream corn, biscuits, corn bread, barbecue pork, and blueberry pudding. That's why he's in favor of healthcare. He's going to need it. 

fried chicken

 


From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon," February 5, 2010:     
On the "Today" show this morning, Michelle Obama said she likes having her mother live at the White House because she helps take care of Sasha and Malia. And Barack Obama said he likes having his mother-in-law living at the White House because he has to say that. 

From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon," December 18, 2009:    
On Fox News yesterday, White House senior advisor David Axelrod said that President Obama hasn't given up on achieving something valuable in Copenhagen [at the U.N. Climate Change Conference]. In one year, we've gone from "Yes we can" to "We haven't totally given up." 

From "Jimmy Kimmel Live," December 17, 2009:   
It's hard to believe there's only two weeks left in 2009. President Obama is already said to be hard at work on his New Year's resolutions. His plan for 2010 is to do all the things he said he was going to do this year. 

From "The Jay Leno Show," December 3, 2009:   
I'm trying to sum up President Obama's first eleven months in office. He gave billions to Wall Street, cracked down on illegal immigrants getting health care, and he's sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan. You know something? He may go down in history as our greatest Republican president ever. 

From "The Jay Leno Show," November 12, 2009:   
President Obama's approval rating is down to 46 percent. That means 54 percent of the people do not approve of the job he's doing, which I think is totally unfair. We should at least wait until he actually does something. 

From "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien," October 15, 2009:  
One of the top-selling costumes this Halloween is a vampire version of President Obama called Barackula. Not so popular: Congressman Barney Frankenstein. 

From "The Jay Leno Show," October 14, 2009:  
The Fox News White House correspondent, a man named Major Garrett, has the swine flu. President Obama has ordered Fox News quarantined for up to five years — as long as it takes! 

From "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien," October 12, 2009: 
Earlier today, the Nobel Prize for Economics was awarded to a woman for the first time ever. So congratulations, Michelle Obama. 

From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon," October 12, 2009: 
Yesterday morning, Pope Benedict named five new saints to the Catholic Church, though some are questioning whether Obama really deserved it. 

From "The Jay Leno Show," October 8, 2009:  
The big question now, with the troops in Afghanistan, is how soon can we expect a decision from President Obama on this troop thing? We've been waiting, but I don't think it's going to happen any time soon. Remember, it took him five months to decide on a puppy. 

From "The Jay Leno Show," October 8, 2009: 
Here is an example of how quickly things can turn around. According to a recent poll, President Obama's approval rating in California has dropped. In fact, among Hollywood celebrities, it is now down to just 99 percent. 

red carpet


From "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien," September 5, 2009:  
Next Tuesday, President Obama plans to make a televised speech to the nation's students during school hours. Many Republicans are planning to keep their kids home from school in protest. As a result, those kids have voted Obama "Best President Ever." 

From "The Late Show with David Letterman," August 26, 2009:  
The Obamas are taking a vacation on Martha's Vineyard. ... And people on Martha's Vineyard are going crazy and they're buying Obama t-shirts, they're buying Obama mugs, they're buying Obama caps. The only thing they're not buying is Obama' s health-care plan. 

From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon," August 5, 2009: 
I want to say happy birthday today to Barack Obama. The president just turned 48 years old — if he was ever really born, that is. ... But Obama's birthday is a reminder of why health care is so important. As you probably know, due to a lack of health care coverage, Obama's mother was turned away from a number of hospitals and was ultimately forced to give birth in a manger. 
From "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien," July 31, 2009:   Conservatives are criticizing Time magazine because they put President Obama on the cover for the 12th time in the last year. Not only that — every week since Obama was elected, he's been on the cover of Black President Magazine. 

From "The Late Show with David Letterman," July 24, 2009: 
Anybody see President Obama's press conference last night on television about the health plan? Here's the deal: it will cost a trillion dollars, but that will be in three easy payments of $330 billion a month, so it's not that bad. 

From "The Late Show with David Letterman," June 24, 2009: 
President Obama, this guy takes everything seriously. He's very upset about what's going on in Iran. As a matter of fact, today he announced that he's going to stop smoking Camels. 
From "The Late Show with David Letterman," June 22, 2009: 
President Barack Obama’s approval rating of 61%, which I thought was staggeringly high, has now dropped to 56%. So don’t kid yourselves. Hillary could still win this thing. 
From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," April 2, 2009: 
So they gave the Queen an iPod. I remember when British Prime Minister Gordon Brown was here, the Obamas gave him a DVD box set. So, it looks like they're saving the big gift, the Nintendo, for the Pope. 
  MP3 player 
 
From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," March 27, 2009:  
President Obama has announced a task force to review the tax code. He’s concerned there are too many loopholes and too many people manipulating the system to avoid paying taxes. And that’s just in his administration. 

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," March 20, 2009:  
People think it's amazing that the President would take time to leave Washington, D.C., and fly 3,000 miles to come to California. But that happens to a lot of guys when their mother-in-law moves in with them. 

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," March 6, 2009:  
President Obama got some good news today. It seems so many of his cabinet appointees have been forced to pay their back taxes, he now gets a finder's fee from the IRS. 
From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," March 2, 2009: 
The Obamas are expecting the arrival of the First Dog in April. Actually, it's Obama's second choice of a dog. The first dog, he had some tax problems. 
From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," February 9, 2009: 
President Obama took his first foreign trip as president today up to Canada. He met with the prime minister to discuss one of the greatest threats facing our nation today — Canadian geese. 
From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," January 21, 2009: 
Barack Obama said his first move as President will be to pardon Aretha Franklin's hat. 

Aretha's hat


From "The Late Show with David Letterman," December 17, 2008:    
I like this time of year. Everybody looks forward to Time magazine naming its "Person of the Year," and today they named Barack Obama "Person of the Year." ... Finally, things are starting to go his way! 

From Amy Poehler on "Saturday Night Live," December 13, 2008: 
Prosecutors said Tuesday that there is no evidence that Barack Obama was involved in the Blagojevich scandal. Or, as Fox News reported it, "Is Barack Obama involved in the Blagojevich scandal?" 

From "The Late Show with David Letterman," December 8, 2008:  
He's come up with a great initiative to create two and a half million jobs for America ... it's a wonderful plan, the catch is we all have to move to China. 

Stephen Colbert, "The Colbert Report", December 3, 2008: 
Tonight: the media reacts to Obama’s cabinet picks. There’s a debate over whether to shower him with praise — or adulation. 

Bob Odenkirk, co-creator of HBO's "The Show": 
Now I want him to reconfigure his goals so they're manageable. I want him to say, "We have to get rid of poison ivy and phone calls at dinner." You know, things that are doable. 

Jimmy Kimmel asking people in a predominantly black barbershop what types of jokes he can make about Obama, November 23, 2008: 
What if I make jokes about him putting rims on Air Force One? ... Can I make jokes about him appointing Dr. Dre as Surgeon General? 

From Craig Ferguson on "The Late Late Show", November 18, 2008:  
Everyone is waiting to see what Barack Obama has planned. We already know his economic plan. It's designed to help small businesses that make under $250,000 a year. You know, like General Motors and Chrysler. 

GM and Chrysler logos


From "The Late Show with David Letterman", November 18, 2008: 
It's an exciting time in Washington, Barack Obama is putting his team together to take over the Administration. And so far, he’s got his mother-in-law gonna be living with him, and he's talking about Hillary for Secretary of State. So you got your mother-in-law, you got Hillary Clinton — boy, sounds like smooth sailing to me! 

From "Late Night with Conan O'Brien": 
Oprah Winfrey has said she will not accept the role of an ambassador to a foreign country if it were offered to her by Barack Obama. On the other hand, Obama did announce that his new Surgeon General is Dr. Phil. 

From "Late Night with Conan O'Brien": 
Some political analysts are saying the 1980's sitcom "The Cosby Show" helped Obama get elected because it portrayed a black family in a positive light. They also say Obama would have been elected 10 years ago if it weren't for Flavor Flav. 

Flavor of Love


From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," November 12, 2008: 
When they move into the White House, Barack Obama is gonna be getting a dog for his daughters. And he was very clear, he was very strict — he said, "You're gonna have to feed it, you're gonna have to give it water, and you're gonna have to clean up after it, do you understand that?" And Joe Biden said, "Yeah ...." 
From "The Late Show with David Letterman," November 6, 2008: 
Ladies and gentlemen, Barack Obama is our new president. And I think I speak for most Americans when I say, "Anybody mind if he starts a little early?" 

From "Late Night with Conan O'Brien," October 27, 2008: 
The other day, a guy who played a game of basketball against Barack Obama said that Obama spent the whole game "trash talking." He also said Obama's trash-talking is eloquent, high-minded and inspirational. 

From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," November 12, 2008: 
Obama now says he is open to offshore oil drilling. Apparently, when he promised change, he was talking about his mind. 

Comedian Aisha Tyler, as quoted in The China Post, July 20, 2008: 
He has the build of an ex-high school javelin thrower. He's the guy on the track team who only does that one event, and he weighs the same as the javelin. 

 

 

 

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